The More You Know

In all of this exploration I've been doing on my own, I've kind of forgotten about the friends I had when I first got here. Apparently they have started to do the same.

I caught up with some of them and it wasn't the reunion I was expecting. There was no warm embrace. Just irritation and resentment. I tried to catch up with them and see how things were, but I might as well have been talking to a brick wall. They just looked at me blankly, gave one-word responses, no enthusiasm at all. Then, it all just came out.

So the assumption is that I have been avoiding them because I think I am better than them now because I have met other people. More specifically, other Black people. Even though my distance was unintentional, I guess they took it as an insult. I tried to explain to them that I'm just reaching a new phase in my life. That I am learning more about myself. I don't think they cared about that. I think they were content with me being they're only Black friend. But I just wasn't content with having to be their only Black friend. I can't help the path I have been put on and how much I want to be on it. I guess we've begun going in separate directions. As much as I would like to keep them as friends, I can't pretend to be something I'm not to please them. We're just in different places in our lives. I'm moving forward and they're content with standing still. Hopefully they'll have an experience in school that'll make them understand where I'm coming from and we hokk back up in the future.