Aftershock

SO after my last rant I had to sit back and take some time to reflect on the situation. Yes, blowing up at my parents and writing about it felt great. Making them feel guilty for sheltering me for so long felt good also. I don't think there was much I felt bad about right then.

But I had to realize that even though I was made at them, these are the people who have taken care of me my whole life. These two people have provided me with any and everything I could want. It is because of them I am even in college. While I am still upset, I would be wrong to think they did any of it with the intent of hurting me. That would just be wrong. And while I am far from ready to apologize I can admit I was wrong. I had to think about other times in my life when I lashed out and they were understanding. And I had to think about the OTHER ways I could have turned out. I could not have parents at all. I could be homeless. I could be dead somewhere. Things could be alot worse than being sheltered.

Having that conversation with my parents (or whatever you want to call it) let me know that I can be who I am going to become and be alright with it. I can't be their baby forever. I can't be that sheltered little Black kid anymore. I have to grow up sometime. I just hope they eventually understand that the person i came to school as is slowly become the old me. And sometime in the future that person won't be any more than a memory.